A man and wife entered a dentist’s office.
The wife said, “I want a tooth pulled. I don’t want gas or any anaesthetic because I’m in a terrible hurry. Just pull the tooth as quickly as possible.”
“You’re a brave woman!” said the dentist, “Now, show me which tooth it is.”
The wife turns to her husband and says, “Open your mouth and show the dentist which tooth it is, dear.”
Brenda, pregnant with her first child, was paying a visit to her obstetrician’s office. When the exam was over, she shyly began, “My husband wants me to ask you a question.”
“I know, I know,” the doctor said, placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder. “I get asked all the time. Sex is fine until late in the pregnancy.”
“No, that’s not it at all,” Brenda confessed. “He wants to know if I can still mow the lawn.”
A man wakes up in the hospital bandaged from head to foot. The doctor comes in and says, “Ah, I see you’ve regained consciousness. Now you probably won’t remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on the freeway. You’re going to be ok, you’ll walk again and everything, but your penis was severed in the accident and we couldn’t find it.”
The man groans, but the doctor goes on, “You’ve got $9000 in insurance compensation coming and we now have the technology to build a new penis. They work great but they don’t come cheap. It’s roughly $1000 an inch.”
The man perks up. “So,” the doctor says,”You must decide how many inches you want. But I understand that you have been married for over thirty years, so this is something you should discuss with your wife. If you had a five incher before and get a nine incher now she might be a bit upset. On the other hand, if you had a nine incher before and you decide to only invest in a five incher now, she might be disappointed. It’s important that she plays a role in helping you make a decision.”
The man agrees to talk it over with his wife. The doctor comes back the next day, “So, have you spoken with your wife?”
“Yes I have,” says the man.
“And has she helped you make a decision?”
“Yes,” says the man.
“What is your decision?” asks the doctor.
“We’re getting granite countertops.”
“I have an earache.”
2000 B.C. – Here, eat this root
1000 A.D. – That root is heathen, say this prayer.
1850 A.D. – That prayer is superstition, drink this potion.
1940 A.D. – That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill.
1985 A.D. – That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic.
2000 A.D. – That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root.
A pregnant woman gets into a car accident and falls into a deep coma.
Asleep for nearly six months, she wakes up and sees that she is no longer pregnant. Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby.
The doctor replies, “Ma’am, you had twins! A boy and a girl. The babies are fine. Your brother came in and named them.”
The woman thinks to herself, “Oh no, not my brother — he’s an idiot!” Expecting the worst, she asks the doctor, “Well, what’s the girl’s name?”
“Denise,” the doctor says.
The new mother thinks, “Wow, that’s not a bad name! Guess I was wrong about my brother. I like Denise!” Then she asks the doctor, “What’s the boy’s name?”
The doctor replies, “DeNephew.”
“Air guitars are not allowed in my operating room. You’re going to have to do it in your head.” (From ORDailyQuotes)
Wade Grindle MD

This website is just what the doctor ordered for what tickles your funnybone! Take two medical cartoons and call me in the morning…