A man and wife entered a dentist’s office.
The wife said, “I want a tooth pulled. I don’t want gas or any anaesthetic because I’m in a terrible hurry. Just pull the tooth as quickly as possible.”
“You’re a brave woman!” said the dentist, “Now, show me which tooth it is.”
The wife turns to her husband and says, “Open your mouth and show the dentist which tooth it is, dear.”
Placing his stethoscope around his neck, the doctor says to the young blonde, “Please remove your blouse.”
When she is ready, the doctor says, “OK, big breaths.”
“Yeth,” she replies, “and I’ve had them thinth I wath thixthteen!”
“Doctor” says Steve, “I want to be castrated.”
“What on Earth for?”
“It’s something I’ve been thinking about for a long time. If you don’t do it, I’ll just go to another doctor.”
“OK, but it’s against my better judgment.”
Steve has his operation. The next day he walks down the hospital corridor very slowly, legs apart, with his drip stand. Heading toward him is another patient walking exactly the same way.
“Hi there,” says Steve, “It looks as if you’ve just had the same operation as me.”
“Yeah,” says the patient, “I finally decided I’d like to be circumcised.”
Steve’s eyes widen in horror, “Oh no! That’s the word!”
A sweet old lady telephoned St. Joseph ’s Hospital. She timidly asked, “Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?”
The operator said, “I’ll be glad to help, dear. What’s the name and room number of the patient?”
The old lady in her weak, tremulous voice said, “Norma Findlay, Room 302.”
The operator replied, “Let me put you on hold while I check with the nurse’s station for that room.”
After a few minutes, the operator returned to the phone and said, “I have good news. Her nurse just told me that Norma is doing well. Her blood pressure is fine; her blood work just came back normal, and her physician, Dr. Cohen, has scheduled her to be discharged tomorrow.”
The old lady said, “Thank you. That’s wonderful. I was so worried. God bless you for the good news.”
The operator replied, “You’re more than welcome. Is Norma your daughter?”
The old lady said, “No, I’m Norma Findlay in Room 302. No one tells me anything.”
A man goes to see his Doctor “Doc” he says, “I’ve got a problem, every minute of every day, I’ve got that song Delilah running through my head! I catch myself humming it, and sometimes singing it in public places. My wife even says I sing it in my sleep, and it’s driving her nuts. What is the matter with me?”
The Doctor replies “well, it sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome to me”.
“Is it a rare disorder?”, the guy asks, to which the Doctor sings “It’s not unusual…”
Wade Grindle MD
This website is just what the doctor ordered for what tickles your funnybone! Take two medical cartoons and call me in the morning…
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Scrubs Favorite Moments (Season 5)
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Doctor’s alphabet
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