“I have an earache.”
2000 B.C. – Here, eat this root
1000 A.D. – That root is heathen, say this prayer.
1850 A.D. – That prayer is superstition, drink this potion.
1940 A.D. – That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill.
1985 A.D. – That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic.
2000 A.D. – That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root.
Stop Suffering… and start living… with TequilaRx!
Has anyone seen my watch?
Come back with that! Bad Dog!
What do you mean he wasn’t in for a sex change!
What do you mean, he’s not insured? Do you know what oxygen costs these days?!
Let’s hurry, I don’t want to miss “Bay Watch”
FIRE! FIRE! Everyone get out!
While eating at their favorite diner, two Texans hear an awful choking sound.
They turn around to see a lady turning blue.
The first Texan rises, hitches up his jeans and walks over to the lady.
He asks, “Can you breathe?” She shakes her head no.
“Can you speak?” he asks. She again shakes her head no.
With that, he helps her to her feet, lifts up her skirt and starts to lick her butt.
Shocked, the woman coughs up the obstruction and begins to breathe.
The first Texan turns back to his friend and says, “Amazing how that there Hind Lick Maneuver works every time!”
A big shot business man had to spend a couple of days in the hospital. He was a royal pain to the nurses because he bossed them around just like he did his employees.
None of the hospital staff wanted to have anything to do with him. The head nurse was the only one who could stand up to him. She came into his room and announced, “I have to take your temperature.”
After complaining for several minutes, he finally settled down, crossed his arms and opened his mouth.
“No, I’m sorry, the nurse stated, “but for this reading, I cannot use an oral thermometer.” This started another round of complaining, but eventually he rolled over and bared his rear end.
After feeling the nurse insert the thermometer, he heard her announce, “I have to get something. Now you stay JUST LIKE THAT until I get back!”
She left the door to his room open on her way out. He cursed under his breath as he heard people walking past his door laughing. After almost an hour, the man’s doctor came into the room.
“What’s going on here?” asked the doctor.
Angrily, the man answers, “What’s the matter, Doc? Haven’t you ever seen someone having their temperature taken?”
After a pause, the doctor confesses, “Well, no. I guess I haven’t. Not with a carnation anyway.”
A man speaks frantically into the phone, “My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!”
“Is this her first child?” the doctor queries.
“No, you idiot!” the man shouts. “This is her husband!”
A woman and a baby were in the doctor’s examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby’s first exam. The doctor arrived, examined the baby, checked his weight, and frowned. Being a little concerned, the doctor asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed. “Breast-fed,” she replied.
“Well, strip down to your waist,” the doctor ordered.
She did. He pinched her nipples, pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both breasts for a while in a very professional and detailed examination.
Motioning to her to get dressed, the doctor said, “No wonder this baby is underweight. You don’t have any milk.”
“I know,” she said, “I’m his Grandma – but I’m glad I came.”
A Doctor was performing rounds at the
hospital one morning and while checking
up on a patient asked ”So how’s your
breakfast this morning?” ”It’s very good
except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can’t seem
to get used to the taste.” Bob replied.
The Doctor then asked to see the jelly and Bob produced
a foil packet labeled ‘KY Jelly.’ 
A pregnant woman gets into a car accident and falls into a deep coma.
Asleep for nearly six months, she wakes up and sees that she is no longer pregnant. Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby.
The doctor replies, “Ma’am, you had twins! A boy and a girl. The babies are fine. Your brother came in and named them.”
The woman thinks to herself, “Oh no, not my brother — he’s an idiot!” Expecting the worst, she asks the doctor, “Well, what’s the girl’s name?”
“Denise,” the doctor says.
The new mother thinks, “Wow, that’s not a bad name! Guess I was wrong about my brother. I like Denise!” Then she asks the doctor, “What’s the boy’s name?”
The doctor replies, “DeNephew.”
Doctor Dave had slept with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he just couldn’t. The guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming. But every once in a while he’d hear an internal, reassuring voice in his head that said:
“Dave, don’t worry about it. You aren’t the first medical practitioner to sleep with one of their patients, and you won’t be the last. And you’re single. Just let it go, Dave.”
But invariably another voice in his head would bring him back to reality, whispering:
“Dave… Dave… Dave, you sick bastard. You’re a vet.”
Wade Grindle MD
This website is just what the doctor ordered for what tickles your funnybone! Take two medical cartoons and call me in the morning…
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Wade Grindle MD:5 days ago thru web
New Joke: The History Of Medicine http://www.wadegrindle.com/the-history-of-medicine/
- Wade Grindle MD:
5 days ago thru web
Do You Suffer From Feelings Of Shyness? http://www.wadegrindle.com/do-you-suffer-from-feelings-of-shyness/