Joke: Bad News

PMS medicine
Q: How can you tell which pill bottle contains the PMS medicine? A: It's the one with the bite marks on the cap... ...
Doctors Duck Hunting
A family practice doc, an internist, a surgeon, and a pathologist are out one day duck hunting. First up is the FP doc - he raises his gun to take aim at a flock of birds passing overhead and says to himself, "Looks like a duck, flies like a duck, quacks like a duck, it must...
Ask The Ob-Gyn
Brenda, pregnant with her first child, was paying a visit to her obstetrician's office. When the exam was over, she shyly began, "My husband wants me to ask you a question." "I know, I know," the doctor said, placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "I get asked all the time. Sex is fine until late...
Doctor’s Orders
A 92 year-old man went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later, the doctor saw the man briskly walking down the street with a gorgeous young blonde on his arm. The doctor walked up to him and said, "Harry you're doing great, I'm proud of you." The 92 year-old...
Rock Hard
A man wakes up in the hospital bandaged from head to foot. The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now you probably won't remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on the freeway. You're going to be ok, you'll walk again and everything, but your penis was severed in...
The History Of Medicine
"I have an earache." 2000 B.C. – Here, eat this root 1000 A.D. – That root is heathen, say this prayer. 1850 A.D. – That prayer is superstition, drink this potion. 1940 A.D. – That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill. 1985 A.D. – That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic. 2000 A.D. – That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat...
More Things You Never Want To Hear During Surgery
Has anyone seen my watch? Come back with that! Bad Dog! What do you mean he wasn’t in for a sex change! What do you mean, he’s not insured? Do you know what oxygen costs these days?! Let’s hurry, I don’t want to miss “Bay Watch” FIRE! FIRE! Everyone get out! ...
Tex Rx
While eating at their favorite diner, two Texans hear an awful choking sound. They turn around to see a lady turning blue. The first Texan rises, hitches up his jeans and walks over to the lady. He asks, "Can you breathe?" She shakes her head no. "Can you speak?" he asks. She again shakes her head...
Don’t Make A Nurse Angry
A big shot business man had to spend a couple of days in the hospital. He was a royal pain to the nurses because he bossed them around just like he did his employees. None of the hospital staff wanted to have anything to do with him. The head nurse was the only one who could...
Is This Her First Child?
A man speaks frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" the doctor queries. "No, you idiot!" the man shouts. "This is her husband!"...