Joke: Bad News

At The Dentist
A man and wife entered a dentist's office. The wife said, "I want a tooth pulled. I don't want gas or any anaesthetic because I'm in a terrible hurry. Just pull the tooth as quickly as possible." "You're a brave woman!” said the dentist, “Now, show me which tooth it is.” The wife turns to her husband and...
Big Breaths
Placing his stethoscope around his neck, the doctor says to the young blonde, "Please remove your blouse." When she is ready, the doctor says, "OK, big breaths." "Yeth," she replies, "and I've had them thinth I wath thixthteen!"...
Castrated
"Doctor" says Steve, "I want to be castrated." "What on Earth for?" "It's something I've been thinking about for a long time. If you don't do it, I'll just go to another doctor." "OK, but it's against my better judgment." Steve has his operation. The next day he walks down the hospital corridor very slowly, legs apart, with his...
Communication Breakdown
A sweet old lady telephoned St. Joseph 's Hospital. She timidly asked, "Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?" The operator said, "I'll be glad to help, dear. What's the name and room number of the patient?" The old lady in her weak, tremulous voice said, "Norma Findlay,...
Tom Jones Syndrome
A man goes to see his Doctor "Doc" he says, "I've got a problem, every minute of every day, I've got that song Delilah running through my head! I catch myself humming it, and sometimes singing it in public places. My wife even says I sing it in my sleep, and it's driving her nuts....
Bad News
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PMS medicine
Q: How can you tell which pill bottle contains the PMS medicine? A: It's the one with the bite marks on the cap... ...
Doctors Duck Hunting
A family practice doc, an internist, a surgeon, and a pathologist are out one day duck hunting. First up is the FP doc - he raises his gun to take aim at a flock of birds passing overhead and says to himself, "Looks like a duck, flies like a duck, quacks like a duck, it must...
Ask The Ob-Gyn
Brenda, pregnant with her first child, was paying a visit to her obstetrician's office. When the exam was over, she shyly began, "My husband wants me to ask you a question." "I know, I know," the doctor said, placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "I get asked all the time. Sex is fine until late...
Doctor’s Orders
A 92 year-old man went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later, the doctor saw the man briskly walking down the street with a gorgeous young blonde on his arm. The doctor walked up to him and said, "Harry you're doing great, I'm proud of you." The 92 year-old...

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At The Dentist
A man and wife entered a dentist's office. The wife said, "I want a tooth pulled. I don't want gas or any anaesthetic because I'm in a terrible hurry. Just pull the tooth as quickly as possible." "You're a brave woman!” said the dentist, “Now, show me which tooth it is.” The wife turns to her husband and...
Merican Medicine
...
Big Breaths
Placing his stethoscope around his neck, the doctor says to the young blonde, "Please remove your blouse." When she is ready, the doctor says, "OK, big breaths." "Yeth," she replies, "and I've had them thinth I wath thixthteen!"...