A Psychiatrist conducts a memory test with 3 of his patients:
Doctor : “What is 3 times 3?”
Patient #1 : “274.”
The doctor rolls his eyes and looks up at the ceiling, and asks the second man, “It’s your turn. What is 3 times 3?”
Patient #2: “Tuesday.”
The doctor shakes his head sadly, then asks the third man, “Okay, your turn. What’s 3 times 3?”
Patient #3: “Nine!”
Doctor : “That’s great! How did you get that?”
Patient #3: “Simple – just subtract 274 from Tuesday.”
Aerobe: a garment worn around the house
Alimentary: what Sherlock Holmes said to Dr. Watson
Apparent: one who changes diapers
Carpal: someone you drive to work with
Castrate: the going price for setting a fracture
Chiropractor: An Egyptian doctor
Cystogram: A wire sent to your sister
Decapitate: to cancel a contract with an HMO
Denial: where Cleopatra used to swim
Dislocation: Here
Duct: avoided being hit
Elixir: what a dog does to his owner when she gives him a bone
Emetic: Italian ambulance driver
Fibula: little white lie
Genotype: the kind of girl Geno likes
Hippocampus: where a hippopotamus gets a degree
Inbred: the best way to eat bologna
Innuendo: where an Italian gastroenterologist puts his proctoscope
Intubate: what a fisherman is
Isodense: what a med student says after taking the national boards
Orifice: a place of business
Paradox: two physicians
Platelet: a saucer
Pleural: more than one
Sacral: holy
Thorax: weapon of a Norse God
Tolerance: the result of ants on growth hormone
Vitamin: what you do when friends stop by to visit
1. Ooops!
2. Someone call the janitor! We’re going to need a mop!
3. We have to hurry, I have a flight to catch.
4. Hi, I’m Bill, are you the new surgeon?
5. That’s cool! Now can you make her leg twitch?
6. Boy, it wasn’t like this in the video!
7. Darn! There go the lights again…
8. Of course this is ethical!
9. You fool! You switched the arms and legs again!
10. Well, folks, this will be an experiment for all of us.
11. I can’t find my scalpel… oh well… could I have another one?
12. Good morning, Dr. Kevorkian.
After his history and physical, the doctor sat down with Bob and said “Well, Bob, I have some good news and some bad news.”
Bob said “Give me the good news first, Doc.”
“They’re going to name a disease after you.”
Wade Grindle MD
This website is just what the doctor ordered for what tickles your funnybone! Take two medical cartoons and call me in the morning…
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Scrubs Favorite Moments (Season 5)
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You Might Be a Scrub Tech If…
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Doctor’s alphabet
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